Bitter-Sweet Fruit Of Single Motherhood

Patience Toge
For many women, motherhood has been a blessing in disguise, yet for some, the journey hasn’t been an easy one. Even the Bible tells us that children are a blessing, and the fruit of the womb is its reward. The gift of a child is a very serious and huge responsibility that must be taken seriously.
When a child is born and has both of his parents around to take care of him or her, the burden can become much lighter, so much easier and full of joy, especially for the mother. She feels the love and support of her husband, or partner. The sheer joy of just sharing something as important as the birth of a child can be very refreshing. 
We have seen families come together during birthdays, or naming ceremonies, or during school socials, and have watched with pleasure as parents’ faces lit up each time the name of their child was called up for a performance or for being the best student in class. One thing always stands out; there is usually this sense of pride and accomplishment. For single parents, the story can be a fruit both sweet and bitter.
“You have your child in your hand, and you are full of joy. You comfort yourself that you are in charge, after all you had this child all alone and up to now, managed to bring him or her through. You feel accomplished with the thought that you will be able to mould your child to become the person you want them to be,” Bongsi says, throwing her hands in the air in a desperate attempt to hide her frustration. “Believe me, I love my son, but sometimes I wish I had someone with me to give me a helping hand in raising him. My son is such a great boy, I just, just… truth is I wish he had a father or even just a father figure…”
There are days when it is all good, you feel you have everything going on well for you. Your son is all grown up, starts school and you are proud to be a single parent then bam! He falls ill, terribly sick and needs emergency treatment. You find yourselves at the Intensive Care, if there is one in your area. You are so scared with no one to talk to. No one you can turn to for emotional or financial support. You are on your own.
In the night of July 1, 2005, Bongsi didn’t know how long she had sat on the wooden bench at Saint Anthony’s Hospital in Bang. 
“I was past feeling any pain, I had no more tears left to shed. I was numb. All I wanted was for the doctor or nurse, anybody to bring me word about my son, and put me out of my ordeal,” Bongsi recalls. Her son was in surgery and she didn’t know how much longer she could stand the deafening silence. She got up, paced back and forth just to calm her nerves. 
For the first time in years, Bongsi wished her son’s father was beside her, comforting her. They had gone their separate ways after he was born, but right now, she wanted nothing more than for him to be here with her and their son. It was a seemingly endless time when she felt a hand on her shoulder and a reassuring voice that her son had made it through the appendix operation. Bongsi could not help but break down into hot tears of both joy and sadness.